Breakdowns that lead to worship.

This past month has been crappy here at the Guizar home (as I'm sure it's been for a lot of you).  

We've had the flu, colds, runny noses, coughs, and the whole dang bit. But through it all, I've tried to change my perspective about motherhood. 

I had a mini breakdown a couple weeks ago where I finally admitted *out loud* that I'm struggling as a mother. I have a hard time appreciating the little things, the looooong days at home, the virtues that motherhood is teaching me.  

After that talk with my sweet friend, Kellie, she said: It sounds like you and I could use some worship.  

So worship we did. We went to our parish church for a worship night they were having and, as distracting as some of those nights can be for me, it was such a great pick-me-up. I had a renewed sense of desire to love and accept my vocation -- and even more so, to appreciate it. 

It's always such a treasure to me to see people in utter abandon and surrender to the Lord at worship nights like this. Like: oh, you've been down a hard path in life and you're still praising with everything inside of you. You know what suffering is and you have so much to show me about faithfulness and trust.  

After that, I began to look at the girls in a different way. I want to appreciate the things that would more easily be frustrating for me. I want to look them in the eyes and remind them that they're loved and beautiful. I want to see them and hold them in the same way the Father does for me: with complete and incomprehensible love.